Lost
by Inkpress00
Summary: Slade captures Starfire, and drains most of her power. When Robin goes looking for her, he discovers who is working for him. It is only when Slade holds them both captive that Robin recognizes his true feelings for Starfire.


When I entered the living room, I trudged to my room and proceeded to drop into a chair where I slammed my forehead into my hands and tried to resist the bitter, regretful sobs that came to my eyes. Why hadn't I tried to protect her? Did I really think she was capable of taking on Slade _and_ Red X alone? What was I thinking? I was supposed to be a good leader, and a good leader should never take his teammates for granted. I hadn't listened to my gut feeling – the clawing in the pit of my stomach that had urged me not to let her go alone… I wasn't accustomed to listening to that, not in the midst of a battle.

But when it came to Starfire, I always listened, or tried at least. I wasn't thinking of this as a Starfire thing – it was a fighting thing. The churning of my stomach should have warned me, to say the least. I remember Slade's ringing words to me after she was unconscious and he had stolen her communicator.

"Why can't you take care of people you love, Robin?"

That's what I'm asking myself right now.

We hadn't been able to track her down, on account of Red X's Xinothium radiation. Plus, Slade had crushed the communicator. That chance was dead, and as far as we knew, so was Starfire. A hateful tear ran down my cheek. I wiped it away angrily. No, I thought. I can't be so upset over this that I would _cry. _I don't cry. As leader of this team, everyone's counting on me to be strong. _Not everyone,_ came the annoying little voice that was my conscience.

"Shut up!" I yelled, and metal footsteps outside of my door ceased. Cyborg opened the door and put his grey circuit-boarded hand on my shoulder.

"Yo, Rob. You shouldn't keep your feelings bottled up. It'll just make it harder when the outlet is gone."

"She's not gone!"

"For now she is. You alright?"

I sighed. Cyborg had hard drives for half of his brain, but his real brain was deep. "No." I finally answered.

"It's hard, but we won't give up searching," came his reassuring reply. "We'll find her.

"She could be dead by then. We need to find her now." I whipped my head up and tried to stand, but Cyborg's hard metal hand held me down. "It's late. Get some sleep, Robin. It'll do you good." He stood up and left the dark room. I just folded my arms and put my head down.

My sleep was fitful, as expected. I mostly dreamt of Starfire, just when I was about to tell her how I felt, pictures of Slade and Red X's taunting voice would interrupt… Slade would be about to kill her… X's bonds kept me from moving… Slade's last words over her communicator echoed in my nightmare…

"Why can't you take care of people you love, Robin?"

Why?

I woke up in a cold sweat, my heart pounding. I looked at the glowing blue display of the digital clock across the table from me. 3:24 a.m. Nice. He remembered the vivid dream – or nightmare – I had just escaped from. Starfire. Her name echoed in my thoughts. "Damn it," I growled, having my fist come down hard onto the table, onto a picture of Slade. "I need to find her."

At first, I wasn't sure whether the T-ship would wake the others. But then, I realized I didn't particularly care. All that was important to me right now was getting Starfire back. As I separated the cockpit from the T-ship, I worried – worried whether my friends would understand, worried whether everything would go back to normal after this was over. As soon as I thought it, I knew it wouldn't.

I started the piece of ship out over the silent black lake with the moon reflected brightly in the tranquil water. It depressed me. I remembered all of the nights Star and I had spent alone on the rooftop watching the sun set. Nothing could take her off of my thoughts right now. I was lost without her. Gradually, I realized something that I had been trying to avoid for a while. I loved her. I always had. How else could I explain this, trying to locate her at 4:00 a.m., without telling anyone else? Without so much as the slightest clue as to where she was? A small flash caught my eye. Not green, but red. Red X. His figure was suddenly on my windshield, appearing through that annoying teleportation thing he had. My eyes narrowed.

"Where is she?" I shouted through the glass.

"What, worried about your girlfriend? She's cute, maybe once you're finished me and her can go out!" His mocking words made anger sting in my throat. I rolled the part of the ship that I was using. He fell, but not for long. His X bomb took out my ship, and we went crashing down into the lake. Fortunately, I was getting to the city, and we weren't far offshore. Not that I couldn't swim, of course. I trudged out of the water, my hair dripping and in my face. Ugh. Where did he go? A red slash made me stumble back into the water.

"Where's Slade?" I yelled as I took out my retractable Bo staff. "Where's Starfire? Answer me!" I managed to hit him in the stomach. Taking out a few Xs from his belt, I hated myself for making that suit... the suit that had put Star in danger. He slashed my cape diagonally and I kicked him, but he grabbed my leg and swung me underwater. My hair was in my face again. I pushed it to the side and landed a few punches, but X was fast. He managed to tie me up and gag me, In his haste pushing me towards the east... sunrise. Must be 6:00 already. I had wasted enough time. Breaking free of his bindings, I grabbed the front of his suit and yelled "Where's Starfire?" once more in his face, but he had teleported already. I sank to my knees, suddenly overcome with exhaustion. The last thing I saw was Slade's figure hulking over me as I blacked out.

I opened my eyes slowly to find myself in some sort of containment field. As I looked around, I realized that there was someone else in the cell.

"Starfire!" I had never been so happy to see her; and not just because I cared about her. Nice to have a friendly face right now, though she looked far from it – instead she looked drained and tired; sick almost, but unharmed physically. And most importantly, she was not dead. My communicator buzzed, making me jump. It was Raven and Cyborg.

"Where are you, man? We've been worried sick about you. Is everything – oh no. You went, didn't you?"

"Yeah. Where are we, exactly?"

"Not sure, man. Star's there with you? You guys okay?"

"Yeah. Listen, you guys can't come after me, okay? Slade has cells for all of you," I said, noticing also purple, indigo, and light blue fields.

"We're coming, Robin. Whether you like it or not. We are coming," came Raven's reply. I sighed. I knew it. Just like every mess I'd gotten myself into, they would always come for me. I hated putting them in danger. _Then stop being so foolish and compulsive. The next time your heart tells you something Robin, have your head shut it up!_ Arrg. I hated that little voice. I wished my head could just shut _it_ up for once. So obnoxious. But it was right. Sometimes I did let my heart get the better of me, and I regretted it later.

To try and take my mind off of the worthless battle going on inside my brain, I tried talking to Starfire, to make sure she was okay. "Starfire! Star? Are you okay?" The response that I got was a sad, pained moan. "Robin..."

"Star, what happened? After Slade took your communicator, we couldn't find you...." She reached down for it, but to her surprise, I was right.

"Robin." She stated my name with rising alarm in her voice. It sent a chill down my spine to see and hear her like this.

"Yes?"

"I am scared." I paused, not quite knowing what to say.

"Me too." was all I could muster. I was scared, but not for myself.

Tears started gathering in her eyes. I knelt down next to her and wiped her vibrant green eyes. "We'll be okay. Don't cry, please," I stroked her long, red hair as she cried onto me. I looked down into her pretty, wet green eyes as she looked up at me. I definitely knew that I loved her now. I was certain. Positive. I held her tighter. Eventually her sobs ceased and we just clung to each other.

"Robin?" Star's voice shattered the silence.

"Yeah?" I murmured.

"I – " She was interrupted by Slade's dangerously soft voice over some sort of loudspeaker. I whipped my head around, trying to see even just an outline of him, but I couldn't.

"Well, Robin, it seems you have taken heed to my parting words. Touching. But don't get used to having her back... I still want her." Some sort of electrical voltage pulsed through her and she cried out in agony.

"Starfire!" The voltage stopped and she collapsed onto the floor of the cell, unconscious. Something caught my attention as I looked up – a floating black orb it took me a minute to recognize that glow. "Raven?" I whispered. It slowly dropped to the ground and disappeared. A second later, the walls of the cell shorted out and Raven rose up through the floor. She opened her cape and Cyborg and Beast Boy tumbled out. I picked Star up gently, trying not to put her in any more pain. I saw Cyborg shoot Beast Boy a devious look. I sighed inwardly. No matter how much I loved Starfire, it would always be seen as a joke to them.

But it didn't matter.

As we approached the T-ship, I felt more and more nervous about the lost part. Cyborg manned the secondary cockpit so I could make sure that Star was okay. I stroked her soft hair – it preoccupied me while I thought about why Red X had decided to work for Slade. Normally he was just selfish, robbing for his own personal gain, but this was different. Now he stole and fought with a purpose. Maybe he was Slade's new apprentice. One problem – Slade required his own colors to be donned. Red X kept his suit. Maybe it's because that's how he does what he does.

I turned my attention back to what my hand was doing. It had started to twist locks of her hair around my fingers. I let it continue, letting my mind wander again. Red X had never worked for anyone before, had he? I hadn't – and I was the suit's creator. We hadn't experienced X working for someone else before, had we? That led me to my next question: how long had he been working for Slade?

By this time, we were home. I made a mental note to further study this, but for now I just picked up the still unconscious Starfire and brought her to her room. I love Star's room. It's so cheery and bright, and it smells like her – fruity and sweet, with a touch of lavender. I was still so exhausted, but I didn't want to leave her room. I made myself as comfortable as possible on a rug at the foot of her bed. The next thing I knew, I spiraled into a deep sleep – filled with fruit and lavender.

Someone was shaking me awake. I opened my eyes regretfully and was surprised to see Starfire kneeling over me.

"Robin, are you truly comfortable there?"

"Not really. I'm kind of stiff." I propped myself up on my elbows. "You feeling okay?"

"Yes. I could do the pulling out of the bed underneath of mine. Would that be more comfortable?"

"Sure. I'll help you. My eyes fell on the clock situated high above everything else on her walls. It read, out of all of the other times, 3:24. Great. The same time yesterday I had woken up to find her. We slid the pullout bed out of it's position under hers. She lay down for a few seconds, and whispered "Good night, Robin." I was mildly surprised at this, but I returned her statement. "'Night, Star."

I woke again about an hour later. I was shocked to feel someone stroking my hair, humming an unfamiliar tune.

"Star?" I asked.

"Robin! Oh, I am truly sorry! I did not mean to wake you." she apologized sincerely.

"It's okay. That feels... nice." I really needed to get more sleep, but she was so sweet. I slipped back into a light doze, not even stirring when I felt her hand drop from my hair and her breathing even out. I turned my head towards her, to make sure she was really asleep. I took a deep breath and kissed her on the cheek. Seeing as she didn't wake, I figured she was pretty tired. I lifted her into her own bed, pushed the pullout bed back under it, and went into my own room. I collapsed with fatigue into my rumpled sheets and pulled them around me. Within moments, I was asleep.

I woke to bright sunlight filtered in through my window from behind the blinds. I immediately wondered if last night had been merely a dream. I then realized how stiff I was, and I knew it hadn't been. _Great way to remember it Robin,_ the little voice said sarcastically. "Go _away_," I moaned in vain. _I'm not going anywhere until you tell her how you feel. She's so sweet to you, and all you do is leave? You're insensitive, and you know it._ "No, I'm not. Shut up." _I can't believe that you would– _"I said, SHUT UP!" I yelled into my pillow. Regrettably, a tear dripped down my face. "Don't cry, don't cry!" But it was no use. I ripped off my mask, letting the bottled up emotions and weariness take their course. I covered my face with my hands and sobbed. There was a knock at my door, though, which ended this much-needed moment that I was putting myself through. I had hoped it was Starfire, but Beast Boy's concerned voice came through my door instead.

"Hey, Robin? You okay? We thought we heard some shouting." Damn. Guess my door isn't as soundproof as I had hoped.

"Now's not really the time, Beast Boy."

"Sorry, dude. Just trying to help."

"It's okay. It's not your problem." I tried to make my voice sound casual. Guess it wasn't fooling him.

"'Kay. Well, I'm in the living room if you need to talk."

"Thanks." But I knew who I needed to talk to.

I knocked on Star's door a few times. "Hey, um, Starfire? You awake?" No answer. Guess that was a no. I went in anyway. She had apparently had a fitful night. She looked troubled in her sleep, and her expression was worried.

"Starfire?" She just turned her head and frowned deeper. I laid down next to her and began stroking her hair. After a few minutes, I heard her response.

"Robin?" She was awake.

"Sorry. Didn't mean to wake you."

"It is okay." Our conversation now mirrored the one we had had earlier. She smiled, and her face lit up. I love it when she smiles. It makes her look so pure and innocent. And beautiful. She sat up, and I followed her action.

"Starfire." I spoke her name slowly. I put one of my hands on her cheek. Then the other. Then I kissed her. It was... wonderful. Definitely the best word to describe it. Soft, warm, pleasant, sweet; nothing else seemed to fit.

"Star... I love you." She smiled again, though this time it was a knowing smile.

"As I love you." I waited for the haunting little voice to say something sarcastic, but it was gone.

I would always be lost without her.


End file.
